HEY BABES, as many of you know if you follow me on insta, I just moved half way across the country from my home town of St. Louis, Missouri to Los Angeles! This has been a dream of mine for a long time now, and I still can't believe it's really happening. I graduated from college in May with a degree in fashion and I knew that LA was where I had to be to follow my dreams.
Anyway.. that's not what we're here to talk about today. Again if you follow me on instagram then you know that Jacob moved out here about 6 months ago in February. Let's get one thing straight... No I did not following him out here. We both love it here and need to be in LA in order to excel in our individual lives. However, he did help push me to make the move:)))
So, that was 6 whole months of Jake and I living 1500 miles apart. In other words, we definitely had a loooong distance relationship. Half a year later and we have officially made it through the distance and are THRIVING. Long distance was definitely not easy...but it also wasn't as hard as I thought it would be tbh. I want to tell you guys my tips for making a long distance relationship work.
1. You both have to want it. Badly.
If you are going into a long distance relationship and one of you is not all in, it won't work. If one person in the relationship is worried about temptation or other opportunities, it won't work. You have both got to be fully committed to each other and want to make it work no matter what. Talk about this beforehand to make sure you are both on the same page so you aren't wasting each other's time.
This is a big one. This is one where me and Babe definitely struggled a bit.
PHONE CALLS/FACETIME: Jake was not much of a phone call person when we first started long distance. He rarely made time to call me because he didn't know how much it meant to me. He didn't understand how much of a difference an actual phone call made instead of just a text message. The time difference also made this difficult because since he was 2 hours behind me, I would be sleeping a lot of the times when he finally got the time to call. After many arguments about making me a priority and doing it because it made me happy, we finally got into a pretty good routine of talking everyday. Even better than calls, Facetime! To be able to see his face and his expressions it almost felt like we were actually together. I definitely think it is SO important to make time to hear each other's voices/see each other's faces everyday. If you don't, it can really feel like you don't even know what's going on in their life and it makes you feel even more distant.
3. Make the other person a PRIORITY
In addition to communicating, it is so important to make your partner feel like a priority. Make them feel like you miss them, love them, want them in every way. That feeling of being missed and feeling loved can make your S/O feel special even though you're miles apart. So if you say you are going to call, call. If your partner says they are feeling neglected or sad, bring on the love. Send them little surprises to let them know you were thinking of them. Send some sexy pics. Write out a long cute message detailing what you love about them. The main thing: make them feel like an important part of your life. Because when you don't get to see each other in person it is easy to forget how it feels to be loved.
Another part of this is to MAKE TIME TO SEE EACH OTHER. The longest Jake and I ever went without seeing each other was about 6 weeks and it felt like a lifetime. Luckily we made it a priority to travel to see each other every 4-6 weeks. Having a set time that you can count down until you see each other makes it so much more do-able. And I got a free trip to Cali out of it:))))
4. Live in the moment, have you own life
It is SO important to learn not to not dwell in your sadness and constantly think about how much you miss your partner. Instead of being depressed, think about all of the things you can do now that you have all this time to focus on yourself! Build relationships with your friends and go out and do things you love to do. Start working out like you always say you were going to and make it a goal to grow that booty by the next time you see your S.O. Read books. Learn more. Develop a new skill. The world is your oyster! (is that the saying? idk) Anyway, I found that my life was much easier and the time apart even went by faster when I just focused on enjoying my life and the people I was around and filled my life with other things that made me happy.
5. Have a set time where you know it will end
Having a limit on the time you have left apart is literally what gets you through the distance. If you are just living your lives not knowing when it will end, then what is really the point of it all? I am totally for pursuing your own paths and doing what you gotta do for yourself but if one of you isn't even thinking about when and how to make it back to the other, then it can feel like it will never end and it will almost seem like a hassle to see each other. Again, this is my relationship and my brain. I am no expert, these are just things that I believe helped me in my long distance relationship.
Just know that in the end, if it's the right person, you will make it through and it will all be completely worth it. Don't be scared of distance because there are ways to make it work.